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"Grindhouse" a Bit of a Grind

I was roundly criticized by Mr. Hewitt today for not warning him about Grindhouse last week.  Now, I have two reasonably rational explanations for that.  First, I hadn't seen Grindhouse at that time, since a 3 hour 11 minute movie just didn't fit into my schedule.  Not that that would necessarily impair my ability to give an opinion on it.  And second, I can't imagine how anyone could not know what to expect when two of the most grisly directors in Hollywood -- Robert Rodriguez (El Mariachi, The Faculty, From Dusk Till Dawn, Once Upon a Time in Mexico) and Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and the Kill Bill movies) -- team up to pay homage to the C- movies of the '70's.

And generally, they do a pretty good job -- although they do seem to be working from different concepts.  Rodriguez's contribution, Planet Terror, is a the-zombies-are-out-to-get-us-run! film that looks like it's been shown 6,000 times -- gritty, streaked, a reel missing here and there, mismatched sound, burned film, etc.  And it is gruesome, action-packed and at times, pretty funny (Mr. Hewitt lasted a whole 18 minutes).  After a few faux trailers (including "Werewolf Women of the SS"), you get Tarantino's Death Proof, which surficially stars Kurt Russel as Stuntman Mike, a serial killer stalking three not-so-defenseless women, but is truly a vehicle (literally) for the amazing stunt work of Zoe Bell.  While Planet Terror is your standard low budget horror flick, Death Proof is a classic car chase film, with much more talking and (until the end) far less action.  But it's a much better film.

So why did it bomb at the box office?  The fundamental problem is that at 3+ hours, the most you can get in is three showings per screen per day, as opposed to the 5 or 6 a "normal" length film can generate.  That in and of itself cuts your box office by 40%-50%.  But a significant problem is that it's hard to make a great movie, or even a good movie, out of inherently bad material.  Even with very good actors and skillful directors, a schlocky horror movie is still a schlocky horror movie.

And if you're squeamish or offended by language or nudity, don't even think about going.
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