Posted by
Emmett of the Unblinking Eye on Saturday, September 02, 2006 11:15:44 AM
The excremental "
The Wicker Man" was not screened for critics (for obvious reasons). Nor, apparently, was "
Crank", for reasons that are significantly less obvious. For though it has its faults, "Crank" is one of the better written, better directed, fun and funny movies to be released this year.
Jason Statham, a former British Olympic diver best known for "
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels", "
Snatch", the "
Transporter" series and "
The Italian Job", stars as a mob hitman who has been poisoned by something called the "Beijing Cocktail". The plot is simple: Statham wants vengeance against those who did the dastardly deed, while trying to stay alive with the assistance of his slightly loopy girlfriend (
Amy Smart) and his questionably-ethical doctor (
Dwight Yoakum). After the expected one minute of setup, what follows is 84 minutes of outrageous, violent, and unexpectedly hilarious action. "Crank" takes chances, and it makes them work. A tremendous first effort from writer/directors
Mark Neveldine and
Brian Taylor. And while Statham can't be called a great actor, he has done more for balding men than anyone in movie history. And for that I will be eternally grateful.
Now don't get me wrong. "Crank" is rated "R", and richly deserves it. If you are offended or uninterested in gratuitous violence and very graphic sexual situations, don't see it. And don't let your kids see it. But if you can survive such moral depravity, and want to have a really good time at the movies, "Crank" is the film for you.