Posted by
Emmett of the Unblinking Eye on Tuesday, August 29, 2006 2:32:25 PM
Two weekends ago the most promoted movie of recent times,
Snakes on a Plane, made its debut. For nearly a year it had been the subject of rumor, innuendo, parody and self-mocking, and the anticipation -- or at least what I deemed the anticipation -- ran high.
And it bombed. Although it was the highest grossing film on its opening weekend, taking in around
$13.8 million and about 52% of the box office, barely nudging past
Talladega Nights, it has since dropped like a rock, grossing about
$447 per screen per day over the next 7 days. In fact, its most recent box office is below
Accepted, a much less hyped (and much better) movie. A blockbuster, it ain't.
So what happened? Why all the unrealized hype? Here's my theory: people really, truly, actually
do not like snakes. After all, if you are afraid of snakes, believe them to be slimy, scary, slithery creatures, and they give you the creeps, why would you want to spend your hard-earned $10 to see hundreds of them on the big screen? And how are you going to talk your significant other into sharing the joyous experience with you? The short answers are that you wouldn't and you can't. So you don't go.
And worse, once you have seen it -- and let's face it, the majority of the folks who actually wanted to see it saw it its first weekend -- there is no reason to go back. There are no worthwhile scenes to be relived, no nuances missed, no reason for a return. Once you've seen one snake.... Well, you can guess the rest. It's not a bad movie -- or rather, it's not the kind of bad movie to be avoided because it's bad -- but it's not one any rational person would want to see twice.
The one thing you can be sure about is that when the Academy Awards roll around, you can bet that "Snakes" will be featured early and often. But not complimentarily.