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And the Topic for April 11 is....

...  The Top 10 Deserter Movies of All Time!!  And the reasons for this choice shouldn't be too difficult to understand.  After all, it is another Friday, and once again, Mr. Hewitt has abandoned the show, this time to frolic in Cleveland amongst the Indian fans.  Although he wanted the Top 10 Missing Leader Movies, that seemed to be overstating his importance just a tad.  So Duane and I will soldier on in his absence -- but not without consequences.
 
So if you'd like to hear me expound on new trialers and the non-epic Street Kings, and if you have any bright ideas on the list, let me know.  And either listen in live on KRLA, or listen to the show later.
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And the Topic for April 4 Is ...

Well, until about an hour ago, it was going to be a reprise of the Top 10 Football Movies of All Time, in honor, of course, of the release of Leatherheads today.  But now it's going to be the Top 10 Movies By, About, Concerning or Created in 1968.  Why, you may ask?  Although it should be because I'm having my 40th high school reunion this year (and it's not), it will be because of the anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.  
 
So if you have any bright ideas, let me know.  And either listen in live on KRLA, or listen to it later.
 
 
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Rev. Wright Makes the Big Time ...

   ... because in his honor we'll be doing the Top 10 Preacher Movies of All Time!  So preayerfully put on your thinking caps and give us a call tomorrow at 5 pm Pacific.  Or just give me your ideas now!  It may not get you on the air, or give you any credit, but it'll sure help me.
 
And stay tuned to this page (or if you must, his) for news on the 2009 Movie Cruise.  No details yet, but you just wait.
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And the Topic for March is...

...  Resurrection Movies.  Or at least Back to Life Movies, honoring Hillary's apparent return from the dead.  So if you have any bright ideas, let me know.  And either listen in live on KRLA, or listen to it later.
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Pray for Me

In a classic case of taking one for the team, I will be attending an early screening tonight of College Road Trip, a sure 2008 Oscar® nominee (well, if  Norbit can make it...) starring Martin Lawrence, Raven-Symoné, and (gasp) Donny Osmond!!  I can hardly wait!!  No, really.  I mean it.  I do.
 
Tune in tomorrow for an early warning.... I mean review.
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Obama and the "W" Word

If there was anything interesting about the Ohio Democrat debate last night -- and it was interesting only if you find someone treading water and steadily sinking while desparately trying to grab for a life ring you're holding but won't throw interesting (sort of like William Bendix in Lifeboat or just about everybody in Open Water -- it occurred early on when Hillary was kvetching about the unfairness of Obama's attacks on her.  In his response, Obama said:
 
"But I think it's very important to understand the context of this, and that is that Senator Clinton has -- her campaign, at least -- has constantly sent out negative attacks on us, e-mail, robocalls, flyers, television ads, radio calls.  And, you know, we haven't whined about it because I understand that's the nature of these campaigns....."
 
Yikes!  By saying that he hasn't whined about it, he is of course implying that she has.  And whining, as we know, is not a particularly good characteristic for a Presidential candidate.  And to some -- not me, of course, but some -- the concept of whining has a certain, well, sexist tinge.  One that none of the questioners, nor Clinton, picked up on.  But if McCain said it....
 
And by the way, why do you have to go to the International Herald Tribune to see a transcript of last night's debate?
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So What Happened Was ...

Actualy, I'm not sure.  For any  of you who've tuned in over the last ten days or so, you may have noticed that all of the left-pane pithy comment on my blog was missing.  And stayed missing, apparently, until today, when my pleas to Townhall were finally heeded.  As best as I can determine, I was placed on the Double Secrer Probation list for some transgression (probably failure to post), and my site was removed.  And with Mr. Hewitt crusin' the amazin' Amazon, my inside source to correct this egregious error was unavailable.
 
But now I'm back.  All is forgiven.  Of course, you missed my pre-Oscar© picks which were, as usual, 100% accurate.  But you can't have everything.
 
By the way, this week I'll be off again, because Michael Steele will be guest hosting, and judging from his resume (and the fact that, to my knowledge, he's never actually heard Mr. Hewitt's show), talking movies with him may not be the best of all ideas.  So I'll be back on March 7 (unless I'm not -- always a possibility).
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I'm Back in the Saddle Again

And the topic for tomorrow, February 8, is ... 

... Shattered Dream movies!!!  You know, where the hero(ine)'s dreams -- and possibly those of others -- go up in a puff of smoke, for no explicable reason. 

Don't know why I chose this; just somehow seemed appropriate.

So if you have any bright ideas, let me have them.  And if you can't make the show live, you can listen to me banter with Hugh's guest host, Dean Barnett, catch us on the podcast.
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Weekend Box Office Results

In case you care, Meet the Spartans -- an absolutely, colossally stupid movie -- barely edged out Rambo for the weekend box office prize, while Cloverfield took a deep plunge, falling below 27 Dresses.

Rank. Movie Title (Distributor)

Weekend Gross | Theaters | Total Gross | Week #

1. Meet the Spartans (Fox)

$18.7 million | 2,605 | $18.7 million | 1

2. Rambo (Lionsgate)

$18.2 million | 2,751 | $18.2 million | 1

3. 27 Dresses (Fox)

$13.6 million | 3,074 | $45.3 million | 2

4. Cloverfield (Paramount)

$12.7 million | 3,411 | $64.3 million | 2

5. Untraceable (Sony / Screen Gems)

$11.2 million | 2,368 | $11.2 million | 1

My advice:  ignore them all, and go out and see There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men.  You'll be much better served.

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Top 10 First Video Date Movies for Men

This may well be the stupidest list suggestion that Mr. Hewitt has ever had -- and to spread it out over the next four weeks (next week, the 10 Worst Movies a Man Can Choose For a First Video Date, followed by the same two for women) is just plain cruel.  If not for you, at least for me.

Any why is that?  Because women, contrary to the popular belief of at least one radio host, are not uniform.  They do not think the same, they do not enjoy the same films, the are as different as, well, men are.  And a movie that a certain segment of women might love might well make another group gag (as my list today obviously did).

The best suggestion of how to handle this situation came from one of our callers today.  If you're a man, out to impress a woman, then invite her over for a dinner you'll actually cook and a wine you'll actually choose.  And let her bring the movie.  She'll be happier, you'll be happier (except maybe for the cooking part), and I guarantee you that she'll be more impressed that you cooked than that you chose an appropriate movie.

But I'm kvetching and nobody cares.  So here's the list anyway, mainly light romantic comedies with some more serious stuff thrown in -- but really, any movie will do if you're with someone you care about:

10.    Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
9.      When Harry Met Sally(1989)
8.      Notting Hill (1999)
7.      Far From Heaven (2002)
6.      The Philadelphia Story (1940)
5.      The African Queen (1951)
4.      Some Like It Hot (1959)
3.      It Happened One Night (1934)
2.      Casablanca (1942)
1.      The Notebook (2004)
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"Rambo" Could Be A Lot Worse

Not the greatest start for a review, I know.  But after all, what can one legitimately expect from the fourth film in the Rambo Series?  You're not going to get Hitchcock, Renoir or even Emmerich; what you've got is Stallone,and a lot of him.  But if you're looking for 93 minutes of fast-moving, generally entertaining and ultra-violent cinema, it's hard to beat.

The plot line, such as it is, finds Rambo as a snake catcher, river guide and generally misogynistic outcast living in deepest Thailand.  And then in come the Christians -- a group of six or so medical missionaries from Colorado bent on going up river into war-torn Myanmar (née  Burma) to help the Christian Karan people against their government oppressors.  Although he initially refuses their offer, he's sweet-talked into it by the sole female missionary (Julie Benz).  After an eventful and (from the missionaries standpoint) horrendous trip up river,  Rambo is sent back home -- only to be recruited by the missionaries's pastor (Ken Howard) to take a troop of mercenaries back up river to find out what the heck happened to his flock.  From that point, of course, all heck breaks loose.

It's not Shakespeare by any means, but given the low expectations I had for it, I was not disappointed.  And as I've often said, if this is the kind of movie you'd like, you'd like this kind of movie.
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Booted Off Again -- But Here's the Top 10 Pakistan Movies Anyway!

    Well, once again his Hewittness has decreed that covering the free-for-all in Pakistan and rebroadcasting -- you'll never guess -- his Mitt Romney interview shall take precedence over the movie hour.  And since next week I'll be going bankrupt hosting a rehearsal dinner for one of the sties who will be marrying his lovely bride the next day, I won't be on again 'til January 11.  The only blessing is that it will avoid, or at least delay, Mr. Hewitt's list choice -- the Ten Worst Movie Releases in January Ever!  Now, wouldn't that have generated calls!

But as a partial penance for my absence, here's my quick-and-dirty list of the Top 10 Pakistan Movies of All Time!

10.    Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World (2005).
9.      The Kite Runner (2007).
8.      Spies Like Us (1985).
7.      A Mighty Heart (2007).
6.      My Son, the Fanatic (2000).
5.      Monsoon Wedding (2001).
4.      Earth (1998).
3.      Syriana (2005).
2.      Charlie Wilson's War (2007).
1.      Gandhi (1982).

I'll be touching bases concernng recent releases in the interim.  Really.  No, really!
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"The Water Horse" Is Worth A Look

Some days, your heart just isn't in attending a screening.  It's the Christmas season, people are busy, things are hectic, and the prospect of spending an evening at a screening of a film -- such as The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep -- that just doesn't seem targeted for your demographic isn't too exciting.  After all, who really wants to see a film in which the lead character looks like an amphibious Shrek?

Well, now that I've seen it, I do.  And I'd happily see it again.  The Water Horse is, simply, the best family non-animated film to see the light of day since Duma -- and coming form me, that's high praise.  The story takes place during 1942 in Scotland when a young boy (well played by Alex Etel, last seen in the underappreciated Millions) finds an egg in a loch near the palatial home which his mother (a wonderful Emily Watson) manages.  The hatching of the egg, coupled with the arrival of a new handyman (Ben Chaplin) and a company of soldiers assigned to guard the loch, lead by Captain Hamilton (David Morrissey), create the dramatic and romantic tension and the arc of the story. 


A word of warning:  this is not a kid's movie, and it's not a comedy.  It's a serious family movie in which the active participation of the parents will help their children make sense of what happens, some of which is quite dark (What happened to that dog, anyway?).  But the cinematography and locations are beautiful, the writing and acting is excellent, and neither the adults nor the children are treated like idiots.  So if you don't have kids, and feel awkward going to The Water Horse without them, go rent some and go.  It'll be worth it.

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More Fallout from Use of "Mohammed"?

By now pretty much everyone has heard of the English teacher who has been/will be deported from Sudan because she permitted her kindergarten class to name their teddy bear "Mohammed".  And although many in Sudan have protested that sentence, apparently believing that it would be better if she was killed, that (fortunately) has not caught on.  But the impact of the outrage may be felt farther, and longer, than anyone expects.

Take, for example, the recent California Appellate Court case of Hossain vs. Hossain.   Now, as cases go, this one isn't very exciting: two gents with the last name of Hossain are battling over how much each owes on the dissolution of a hotel partnership.  But what I did find interesting was how the court referred to each party.  For those who don't know, when two parties to a reported case have the same last name, the court will normally distinguish them by referring to them by their first name.  Here, the plaintiff and appellant, Kazi Shadat Hossain, is referred to in the Opinion as "Kazi", while the defendant and respondent, Mohammed Jamshed Hossain, is referred to as ....... Jamshed.

Jamshed?  Why "Jamshed"?  Any particular rational reason not to refer to him by his first name, Mohammed?  Given that "Mohammed" is the No. 1 first name in the Moslem world, avoiding its use in business and law could get prickly.  And what would the court have done if it didn't have his middle name?  Would it have called him "the other Hossain guy" rather than risk traipsing on the sensibilities of those who name their child "Mohammed"?

It's one thing to get militantly upset at someone using "Mohammed" as the name of a teddy bear, but when a court refrains from calling a man named Mohammed "Mohammed", things may have gone a bit too far.
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"Dan in Real Life" a Worthwhile Family Film

What do you expect when a film teams Steve Carell ("The Office" and "The 40 Year Old Virgin") with Dane Cook (a stand-up comic credited with the excremental "Employee of the Month" and "Good Luck Chuck"? Whatever it is, it's not what you get in "Dan in Real Life" -- and surprisingly, that's a good thing.


"Dan" is not an off-color, R rated laugh fest. What it is is a touching romantic comedy about love and loss, backed by an outstanding cast. Carell plays a widower with three daughters whose advice column -- Dan in Real Life -- is about to go into syndication. Meanwhile, he and his daughters are required attendees at the season-ending family gathering at the home of his parents {the always-wonderful John Mahoney and Diane Wiest) in Nantucket. Dan goes willingly; his daughters less so. Sent on an errand to buy the newspaper at a local book store, Carell meets Marie (Juliette Binoche) and winds up spending much of the morning talking with her. At the end of their meeting she indicates that she is "involved". What Dan doesn't know is that it's with his brother, Mitch (Cook).


Now, none of this is particularly inspired. You know from the outset what will happen to Mitch, Marie and Dan at the end, and your not surprised when it happens. But you are pleased. What brings "Dan in Real Life" out of the ordinary is how well the writer and director depict the reunion of a biologically-close but socially and emotionally distant family, and the remarkable interaction of the cast. "Dan" is not going to win any Oscars, but it is going to win a lot of hearts.

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